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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24083296">when the lights go down</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/closingdoors/pseuds/closingdoors'>closingdoors</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Emmerdale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(i may or may not have started rewatching their scenes from the beginning), Early in Canon, F/F, Flirty!Vanity</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:34:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,327</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24083296</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/closingdoors/pseuds/closingdoors</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Rhona raises her eyebrows. "Hoping someone's going to bid on you?"</p><p>Vanessa scoffs. "As if." </p><p>Or: the one where Charity actually bid on Vanessa during the January 2018 auction.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Charity Dingle/Vanessa Woodfield</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>175</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>when the lights go down</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Who are we, when we're alone?<br/>
Who are we, when the lights go down?</p><p>
  <strong>Just Friends, Morgan Saint</strong>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Knitting. Of all the skills in the world, that's the only one she can offer.</p><p>Well, she thinks, chancing another glance towards Charity. That's the only one she can offer <em>publicly.</em></p><p>Charity looks over at her, green eyes filled with heat, and Vanessa feels her cheeks warm. She's distracted when Rhona digs her elbow into her ribs.</p><p>"Ow, Rhona, that hurt," she complains, rubbing her side.</p><p>Rhona raises her eyebrows. "Hoping someone's going to bid on you?"</p><p>Vanessa scoffs. "As if." </p><p>Rhona looks between them. Charity has gone back to serving people, blonde hair swaying as she turns between the till and the bar, apparently indifferent to the two of them watching her. Vanessa's beginning to realise lately how easily Charity can feign indifference.</p><p>"So that's still going on, then?" </p><p>"We're not anything." </p><p>"It's something." Rhona hesitates. "Just be careful, Ness." </p><p>"There's nothing going on," she insists in a mumble.</p><p>Truthfully, she doesn't know what <em>is </em>going on. It's not like she's a stranger to the concept of friends with benefits — except Charity isn't actually her friend, they hardly acknowledge each other in public. </p><p>But they've been spending more and more time in each others' beds. There's nothing indifferent about how Charity feels about her then. Not when her body rises up into Vanessa's hands, her kisses growing firmer each time, like she's trying to prove a point. Vanessa's even found herself ignoring the dating apps on her phone recently. Not on purpose. It had been Charity that'd drawn her attention to it.</p><p><em>Well, well babe. What do we have here?</em> She'd murmured, her naked front draped over Vanessa's back to reach across for her phone, lit up on the nightstand with a notification. <em>Still trying to find </em><em>the right woman for you? </em></p><p>Vanessa hadn't known how to reply, because she'd only just realised she hadn't touched the app in over a week.</p><p><em>Not enough for you, am I? </em>Charity had teased, her mouth at Vanessa's neck, and at once Vanessa had gone from tired and spent to aching with want. <em>Thought I'd ruined you for everyone else.</em></p><p>Maybe she has, Vanessa thinks belatedly.</p><p>Charity doesn't look her way when Vanessa steps up beside the podium. The back of her neck begins to sweat when Rhona starts the bidding. Charity doesn't even have a bidding paddle. Why <em>would </em>she bother bidding on her? </p><p>The bidding is slow. A painful bounce back and forth. Twenty pounds. Thirty. Forty. Rishi and that bloody paddle. If she has to spend an afternoon teaching Rishi how to knit, she thinks her brain might rot. Her shoulders deflate and, just when she starts to come round to the idea, a voice rings out.</p><p>"Fifty quid."</p><p>Charity doesn't raise a paddle, or her hand, but her voice rings out confidently through the pub anyway. Vanessa hears Rhona cover her laugh with a cough.</p><p>Her cheeks warm when people look between them. Especially Megan and her <em>Dad.</em></p><p>Rishi goes to open his mouth again and her heart skips a beat because Charity might be willing to bid on her now, but there's no way she'd go through a bidding war for her. Would she?</p><p>"All done at fifty pounds, sold to Charity," Rhona says quickly, banging the gavel. Rishi pouts.</p><p>A murmur spreads throughout the crowd of the pub. Rhona gives her a knowing look.</p><p>"Oh, shut up," she whispers, but she can't stop herself from smiling.</p><p>Vanessa adjusts her t-shirt and hops down from the mini-stage. Charity's like the glowing sun behind the bar and she tries not to look at her directly. Sometimes she wishes she could play it cool like Charity does.</p><p>Then again, she doesn't think she's been doing too bad lately. If they hadn't been busted in the cellar after the Veronica incident no-one would know about them. She's kept it all very hushed. The secrecy of it all just adds to the thrill, if she's honest.</p><p>"What are you playing at?" She hears her dad ask Charity.</p><p>Charity shrugs, leaning against the bar. Vanessa wonders if anyone else can read the look she throws Vanessa — that deep-written want, that smirk of <em>you owe me — </em>or maybe it's only her who knows how to decipher it.</p><p>"Wouldn't you like to know, Frankie boy?" </p><p>"Teeny, if she's bothering you — "</p><p>"It's fine, dad," she cuts in quickly. God, could this be any more embarrassing? Charity's grinning now, her eyes dancing with mirth. "I can handle it." </p><p>"Quite like it when you handle me, babe," Charity says with a wink, before disappearing to serve another customer.</p><p>Megan snorts derisively. Frank narrows his eyes. Vanessa's torn between jumping for joy and wanting the earth to swallow her whole. Lately she's learned that she only knows how to feel in extremes when it comes to Charity.</p><p>"Ignore her," Megan says, squeezing Vanessa's elbow. "We'll figure out what she's up to."</p><p>The thing is — Vanessa kind of hopes they do.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The village is small, so the fact that Charity Dingle bid fifty pounds on Vanessa Woodfield for knitting lessons spreads throughout it like wildfire. It's been a few months since Vanessa's been the subject of gossip and she'd forgotten how much she hates being the centre of attention. At least Brenda isn't telling her about every lesbian she's ever met this time round.</p><p>She bumps into Charity, literally, two days after the auction. Charity's walking out of the shop just as she's walking in and they collide. Charity drops the milk she's holding and the bottle splits open, spilling the cold liquid over their shoes. </p><p>"Looks like you should watch where you're going, babe." </p><p>"Charity, I'm so — "</p><p>"S'alright. No point crying over spilt milk, eh?"</p><p>She can't help herself. She laughs. "Charity Dingle, learning how to knit and telling bad puns, who'd've thought it."</p><p>"You know it's not knitting I want to learn, babe." Charity glances over to Tracy, who's hurriedly grabbing a mop and bucket. She leans in close. "I already know you're good with your hands."</p><p>It's unfair that Charity manages to set her aflame with a few words and that low, breathy voice of hers she only uses whenever they're in bed together. Vanessa has to take a steadying breath when Tracy appears beside them to clear the mess.</p><p>"See you around, yeah?" </p><p>The words are softer than they should be. Charity almost looks shocked at her own tone. Vanessa stuffs her hands into her pockets.</p><p>"Yeah. See you. For the knitting, I mean," she adds in a rush.</p><p>Charity's smiling when she grabs herself a new bottle and leaves the shop. Vanessa tries to move past her sister, who's busy mopping up, but her sister's arm darts out and stops her where she stands.</p><p>"What was that all about?" Tracy demands.</p><p>"Oh, you know, she bid on me for knitting — "</p><p>"<em>Exactly. </em>It's Charity Dingle, V. Do you really believe she just wants to learn some knitting?" </p><p>"Why is everyone so fussed about what it is she's after? I swear people care more than <em>I </em>do." </p><p>"You two have history. Besides, lesbian drama's just different." </p><p>"Charity's not a lesbian." </p><p>Tracy sighs, plopping the mop back into the bucket and setting her hands on her hips. Sometimes Vanessa wonders how it is she's the older one out of the two of them. </p><p>"D'you reckon that's what she's after? She wants to mess with you again?" Tracy asks with disdain.</p><p>Vanessa's palms sweat. "Would that be such a bad thing?" </p><p>"Uh, yeah, <em>duh. </em>When will she get that you're too smart to go back there? No, my sister deserves the best. We'll show her." </p><p>Vanessa mumbles something about grabbing bread and darts away from Tracy, trying to ignore the sting of tears in her eyes.</p><p>She's still thinking about it when she's watching TV alone that night. Leyla's out and Johnny's already in bed. The sofa feels empty with just her sitting on it and she tries to ignore the feeling because it's <em>stupid, </em>Charity's never sat here with her, they've never spent time with one another outside of their bedrooms. Not fully clothed, at least.</p><p>She wonders if Tracy's right. That she's stupid for going back to Charity. God knows her dad had paid the price dealing with her, as much as she doesn't like thinking about that. Charity had shown her true colours, the day she'd tried to send Frank back to prison, for no reason other than to save her own skin. It'd been the first time Charity had really popped up on her radar: by hurting her family. Of course she should have more allegiance to her dad than to fall into Charity's honey trap. Charity will only chew her up and spit her out.</p><p>But that's one of the first things Charity had said to her the next day. There's nothing to use. </p><p>Vanessa thinks she's stupid enough to believe her.</p><p>Her phone pings. <em>Fancy repaying me with your skills, babe?</em></p><p><em>Got Johnny tonight. Sorry, </em>she sends before she can think better of it.</p><p>Charity doesn't reply. Vanessa goes to bed alone.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Vanessa's certain there's more people in the pub than is usual for a Thursday evening. They all seem to be looking her way, too, as she piles in with her bags full of yarn and needles.</p><p>Chas materialises out of thin air to pour Vanessa a pint.</p><p>"So you're <em>really </em>gonna teach our Charity how to knit?" </p><p>"That's what she bid on," Vanessa says, her tone falling far from casual.</p><p>Chas doesn't hide the way she watches her approach Charity, sitting in one of the booths off to the side, the closest to hidden they can get.</p><p>Charity looks good today and she wants to hate her for it. That charcoal grey blazer of hers has made a reappearance and her hair is mussed, almost as messy as when they're done —</p><p><em>Get a grip, Vanessa, </em>she tells herself, her grip on her bags tightening. They haven't even spoken yet. Charity's barely looked her way. How the hell is she supposed to endure the next couple hours with her in public, teaching her how to knit, pretending like she hasn't spent night after night recently learning how to make Charity Dingle fall apart beneath her?</p><p>"I never should've bid on you," Charity says when Vanessa slips in the booth opposite her.</p><p>"That's charming, that is." </p><p>"You know I didn't actually bid on you for knitting, yeah?"</p><p>"Well how will it look if I <em>don't </em>teach you?" She snaps, when really she wants to ask <em>why? Why did you bid on me? You would've had me either way. </em>"Look, can you just... make this easy for me. Please."</p><p>Charity sighs loudly, like the thought is tiring to her.</p><p>"Fine." </p><p>There are few times in her life Vanessa has considered herself impatient, but this might actually be one of them. Maybe it's because of all the eyes on them. Or the way Charity treats her like they're nothing to each other. Or how good she looks and how Vanessa aches to pull her through to the back and kiss her until Charity forgets everything but her name. </p><p>Her bad mood seems to catch, too. Then again, most of the time Charity's in a bad mood. Vanessa's only ever seen her in two states: scowling or hungry with desire.</p><p>Except, she thinks, watching Charity drop a stitch and frown, that's not true. Charity can be open sometimes. Tentatively so. When they lay in the dark beside one another, their bare skin touching. Charity unburdens herself to the night. They're half-fragments of thoughts. Vanessa knows it'll be a long time before Charity bares everything to her. Maybe she'll never see her underbelly. But Charity has trusted her with some things, has pressed her worries into Vanessa's skin and Vanessa has eased them by pushing her down into the mattress, and that still counts.</p><p>Then there's the laughter, too. Charity's funny. Undoubtedly so. Sometimes she has to smother her laughter with her pillow in case she wakes Leyla. Charity's grin is always brighter then. There's a light in her eyes that Vanessa rarely sees. They exist side-by-side easily, nattering about nothing and everything, and in those moments Vanessa finds herself wondering if it would be any different to be together in the light of day.</p><p>"What're you gawking at?" Charity asks.</p><p>"Nothing," she replies quickly.</p><p>Chas keeps their drinks topped up, probably as an excuse to eavesdrop on their conversation. Which, the more drinks they go through, becomes less about knitting and more of a conversation normal people would have.</p><p>She hardly notices it when they push the knitting aside. The edge of her vision is blurry but the image of Charity is sharp. She enjoys Charity's company far more than she ought to. </p><p>"V?"</p><p>Vanessa looks up to find Tracy standing over them. Her sister is frowning, eyeing up Charity warily, and Vanessa automatically bristles at that. People are always writing Charity off. Well, she's not going to. </p><p>"I'm busy, Trace." </p><p>"Maybe I should get you home." Tracy throws Charity a dark look. <em>"Without </em>an empty wallet."</p><p>Charity snorts. "Please. If I was going to steal from anyone, it wouldn't be your sister." </p><p>"My money not good enough for you?" Vanessa says without thinking.</p><p>Charity's eyes brighten and Vanessa feels like she's put her foot in her mouth. But Charity looks up at Tracy again and clears her throat.</p><p>"I'm the one who paid for this disaster, babe," Charity points out, gesturing to the abandoned knitting strewn on the table.</p><p>Vanessa gathers it all by sweeping her arms over the table, depositing it in the bag. There's something soft in Charity's eyes that she can't name when she next looks back up. She thinks she could throttle Tracy for breaking the spell. </p><p>"C'mon, V. I'll walk you home." </p><p>"Charity can walk me home. Can't you, Charity?" </p><p>Charity's eyes bug wide but Vanessa doesn't give her a chance to reply, barging past her sister and dragging Charity with her. </p><p>She expects the cold air on her face to sober her up, make her realise what a mistake she's made, but it only makes Charity's hand in hers feel that little bit more right. She glances back at Charity, whose face is unreadable now.</p><p>They walk from the pub to Tug Ghyll. Charity doesn't let go of her hand. </p><p>"Would Rishi have gotten this kind of attention from you?" </p><p>Vanessa peers up at her. "Is that why you bid? Were you jealous?"</p><p>"Of Rishi? Babe, I'm pretty sure I have nothing to worry about. He's got the wrong anatomy, for a start," Charity says, ignoring Vanessa's wince, "and that's before we start talking about his fashion sense." </p><p>"That's not a proper answer."</p><p>Charity lets go of her hand when they reach the gate to Tug Ghyll. Vanessa sighs and heads up the path, fumbling in her drunken haze to get her keys in the front door. She doesn't know why she bothers with Charity sometimes. Every time she thinks they've taken a step forward it turns out they've actually taken three back. </p><p>"I thought it's what you wanted." </p><p>Vanessa turns, surprised to find Charity right behind her.</p><p>"What?" </p><p>"Bidding on you. I thought you wanted me to." </p><p>"I did," Vanessa admits. "But, you know, you didn't <em>owe </em>it to me or anything."</p><p>Charity's brows have pulled together. Vanessa wants to press her thumb to the crease. She wants to put her hands anywhere on Charity that she can, really, but now's not the time: there's a war raging in her eyes. </p><p>"I know. I just wanted to." </p><p>The simple truth steals the breath from her lungs. Charity shifts her weight and looks away, oddly shy, and something warm rushes forward in Vanessa's chest.</p><p>It's stupid and risky and she knows she's going to have Tracy to answer to in the morning, but for once she doesn't care. So she tilts her head back and closes her eyes, kissing Charity firmly on the mouth.</p><p>Charity's hand curls around the back of her neck. She's smiling when she pulls away.</p><p>"You like me," Vanessa dares tease her.</p><p>Charity rolls her eyes and pushes her away."Go to bed, you drunkard."</p><p>"Come with me."</p><p>"Babe, you're drunk — "</p><p>"I didn't mean like that."</p><p>There's a beat of silence and she watches a frown pass across Charity's face. She holds her breath and thinks for a second she's misread the situation completely. Charity's going to say no. She's going to say that they're no more than two single people, messing around. </p><p>"Alright." She smiles again and Vanessa's heart tumbles. Charity really is beautiful. "I'd like that." </p><p>Vanessa steps backwards and Charity takes a step forward, closing the door behind her.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Vanessa tunes out of the conversation as she waits for Brenda to pass her her sarnie the next morning. Her head is throbbing from her hangover and Brenda, apparently, wants nothing more to chat about what it was like to teach Charity how to knit.</p><p>Her dad steps up beside her and Vanessa's eyes snap to him. His expression is impassive. </p><p>"So."</p><p>Vanessa clears her throat. "So."</p><p>"How long has it been going on? You and Charity?"</p><p>He doesn't sound angry. Vanessa still swallows roughly. </p><p>"A while." </p><p>"Since the auction?" </p><p>"Before." </p><p>He nods, turning away from the counter without buying anything. She catches his arm.</p><p>"Dad..."</p><p>"It's alright, teeny." He leans in to kiss her forehead and relief courses through her, the weight she's been carrying around dropping from her shoulders. "I told you — whoever you love, as long as they make you happy, they're alright with me."</p><p>"I don't love Charity," she says, and leaves off the <em>but I could, one day.</em></p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>All eyes are on her when Vanessa enters the pub to meet Rhona for lunch. Rhona's already grabbed them a table and gives Vanessa a little wave. Vanessa waves back, but moves towards the bar, ignoring Rhona's smirk.</p><p>"Alright?" She says, like she hadn't woken up in Charity's arms this morning, like she hadn't kissed her sweetly before Charity had left through the back door.</p><p>"Alright," Charity returns, like she hadn't been the one to tug Vanessa to her by the knot in her dressing gown, to press her nose to Vanessa's hair and breathe her in.</p><p>Chas is watching them like a hawk from the other side of the bar. Vanessa doesn't think she cares anymore. Charity starts pouring her a pint. It's all just part of this game of charades they're playing. Vanessa's happy to keep playing.</p><p>"Can I tell you something?"</p><p>"So long as it doesn't hurt my feelings, babe." </p><p>"You're terrible at knitting."</p><p>Charity shrugs. "Well, you're terrible at teaching."</p><p>"I am <em>not!"</em></p><p>"You so are."</p><p>Vanessa wants to argue but Charity's smirking. Pushing her buttons, as usual. She finds she doesn't mind. Any attention she can get from Charity, she thinks she'll take it, even if it means the village will gossip and watch them. She's done hiding. </p><p>"So, maybe no more knitting lessons," she starts, and Charity's eyes drop down to the bar, "but maybe I could buy you a drink sometime?" </p><p>"I own the place, babe," Charity says with a snort.</p><p>"It doesn't have to be here. Just — you know, so long as it's you and me. On a date." </p><p>The air feels charged; electric. Charity's eyes hold hers for a long time, searching, and Vanessa wonders what it is she finds there that eventually makes her nod. She slumps against the bar out of relief, tired of trying to play it cool. </p><p>"Sure. Somewhere without an auction, though. I've had enough of them to last me a lifetime." </p><p>"Oh, I don't know. I'd say you got a pretty good reward out of the last one." </p><p>"Yeah." Charity's fingers brush hers as she passes her the pint. "I guess I did." </p><p> </p>
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